reconnected

This last week, I was able to reconnect with my heart. During these past few months, due to my dire circumstances, I retreated and withdrew from my heart. I sought to self protect from feeling all of my emotional pain. I really hate doing that, because it is so hard to reconnect and feel again. I call it walling off. I try and protect myself from outside influences. Unfortunately, this barrier isolates me; I cannot receive blessing or goodness.

A few weeks ago, I prayed to break down this wall of protection. Last week, this prayer was answered. I received a most wonderful and generous anonymous gift of kindness, mercy and grace. My heart was and continues to be overwhelmed with gratitude. I will be forever grateful. My life is changed for the better. My heart is bursting from this blessing. I can once again shed tears of joy.

I consider myself most fortunate, to have been surrounded by so many friends and supporters. I know now more than ever that everything will be okay. I know that I do not walk alone. There are many who are willing to walk with me, carry me, support me, pray for me, and bless me. No matter the length of the journey, the depth of the pain and sorrow, I am not alone. Certainly, God is with me, but in times of trouble it is sure good to know that there are people who are willing to help, be with and provide support. I am feeling most blessed.

I was able to share my experience this last weekend during a reunion of my old support group. It was with this group that I first reconnected with my heart. I had been disconnected for years. It was because of this group that I am who I am today. This group was a place to share your heart and be fully known and accepted for who you are. Due to a number of circumstances we no longer meet. Each of us has gone our separate ways.

Having known true connection and belonging, I long for deep level ongoing connection, but not everyone shares this desire. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been a member of this special group and for being placed where I am today.

I thank God that I can once again be connected and known where I am. I have a renewed sense of hope. I know that my journey is not over, it continues. My hope is that I can stay connected.

Please pray for wisdom and discernment as I prepare for my upcoming surgery,there is much to do and plan for. Pray for continued blessing, protection and provision. Pray that I will remain connected, soft and pliable.

Most gratefully, with a full and restored heart, Rick