feeling loved, cared for and nurtured

Last week, I went to my pain management session. I filled out their numerous forms and once again shared the details about the situation with my spine. Fortunately, the doctor evaluating me was sympathetic to my circumstances. She agreed to submit another request for me to see a neurosurgeon. I told her that my primary care physician had made a request for me to see a spine specialist and that request was denied. She said that her requests are never denied. I said, “We’ll see”.

After explaining that Vicodin does nothing to relieve my pain, she prescribed a more potent form of pain medication. I once again thought to myself, we’ll see if this new pain med is effective. To help eliminate my pain, she will also submit a request for me to undergo a procedure that will deaden some of the nerves in my back. I am a bit apprehensive about this procedure, I wonder, will it work and if so for how long. Once again, we’ll see.

Even though I am still unresolved, I am feeling a bit more optimistic. I recognized that I am back in another holding pattern; I will need to wait another two weeks for these requests to be reviewed by my insurance company. But at least I have another med to possibly help take the edge off of my pain. Hopefully in the next two weeks, I will receive some good news from my insurance company.

I am more hopeful for other reasons. I am feeling a greater sense of being seen, heard, and understood. I am feeling more supported, cared for and nurtured. How did this happen?

I’m not sure how, but I have been included on at least one prayer list (outside of CBC). I am blessed to know that there are people praying for me, fasting, petitioning and interceding on my behalf.

People are also willing to take the time to pray for me in person. A few weeks ago, an entire small group asked if I would be willing to receive prayer. What a tremendous blessing that was to get in the center of their group and receive ministry though prayer. The Holy Spirit was present in an intense and almost tangible manner.

I have been fortunate enough to receive prayer on Sundays after service. Some of our youth have been included in this time of prayer ministry.

Another small group has been praying for me on an ongoing basis. This Sunday, I received a card from them with kind words of encouragement, care and support. I continue to feel like the man in the Gospel account of being carried by his friends in the stretcher. After Jesus healed him, He said that it the faith of the man’s friends that healed him.

Even though I have been feeling discouraged, disappointed and depressed, my friends continue to carry me. They continue to pray for me. They pray when I can no longer pray for myself. They carry me when I can no longer walk. Even in my darkest hours, as I sometimes feel so very alone. I am not alone. My friends are near, my friends are interceding, my friends hold me up. I may feel alone, but I am not. I am surrounded by faithful care givers.

If you are a part of my support system, thank you. Thank you for being here when I need it most. Thank you for your care and concern. Thank you for extending to me your love, grace, mercy and compassion. Thank you for all the ways you have cared for and supported me. Because of you, my heart is feeling more restored and my soul is feeling more renewed.

Most gratefully, Rick