God on the freeway

This morning, as every Thursday morning, I made the 45 min drive to school in Azusa. I realized that one of my best times to hear God is on the commute. I start out praying and listening to a worship CD, and then I think God enters in because it's so easy to veg and free-associate and let my mind wander and be open to whatever he wants to say. Some of my best sermon ideas have come to me while I was driving. When I'm at a prayer meeting or intentionally waiting for God, sometimes I think I try too hard and have a harder time quieting my own thoughts.

It occurs to me that this might not be a good thing . . . Brandon thinks I'm an annoyingly erratic driver, and refuses to ride with me. He always drives when we go out, especially because he likes driving my still-newish and very clean car. So relaxing my mind while I drive might not be so good . . . but then I haven't hit anyone yet, so maybe God protects me as I'm listening for him. I hope so. Maybe you should pray for me and everyone else on the freeway :)

Anyway, this morning, God brought to mind some people who have been struggling with really hard things, and I began to pray for them, and to feel their burden. As much as I want to call people to greater faith and taking leaps of faith, I felt a heaviness for some of our CBC-ers for whom circumstances are so incredibly hard. So hard that getting through the day is an act of faith, and believing in God enough to come to church at all takes huge effort and energy. If that describes you, I prayed for you this morning.

In His Light

Lessa, my special needs child, was born with half a functioning GI tract and cerebral palsy. She spent 4 months in the Neonatal intensive care unit, endured multiple surgeries, therapies, and hospitalizations during her first three years of life. In order to survive, she relied on her multitude of medications , intravenous feedings (TPN) through a tube leading to her heart, and her special formula feedings fed through a stomach tube .

Many at CBC embraced and prayed for Lessa and our family. God answered. For the next 11 1/2 years, she was stable . She thrived and grew on her special formula so she was weaned off the intravenous feedings and the catheter was removed. The weekly visits to her specialist early in life soon became yearly follow-ups. Though far from "normal", her life (and ours) were blissfully routine.

Then she had a major set-back early 2005. She weathered through pancreatitis and pneumonia, had two major abdominal surgeries, numerous hospitalizations totalling over 9 months in the 3 + year span (one stint was 4 months ---- hmmm deja vu!) , multitude of procedures and tests and medication regimens and a reinsertion of an intravenous catheter for TPN to sustain her life while her GI tract attempted to regain its lost function. The hope was that she would only need the TPN for a few months .

The few months has turned into a few years.

The catheter line is a friend and a foe. It's been a lifeline for Lessa to keep her hydrated and give her nutrients. However, in the long term, the TPN can cause ultimate liver damage. In the short term, it is a foreign object in her vein and a magnet and safe haven for bacteria that are usually kept at a bay by our immune system. Several of her hospitalizations were necessary because the bacteria were winning (sepsis) .

To say the least, we want this line out, but can Lessa survive without it? Will God heal her? In the past for years, I've ventured into that dark cave of "What ifs?" "What if God decides our living on pins and needles, waiting for the next rush to the ER is the way it will always be? What if Lessa will always need the TPN and we have to accept liver damage and sepsis as distinct parts of her future? What if she grows resistant bacteria that won't respond to medications and hospital treatments? What if she doesn't make it one of these times? It's overwhelming , discouraging, exhausting, and it's scary. The dark blanket of uncertainty can paralyze and smother me.

What do I do? Get out of the cave! I have to get out of that cave and venture into the light of God's blessings. I have to look at how far God has brought her in the last four years, and in her whole life time. When she was born, her surgeon did not believe she would survive the night. Her neonatologist did not feel she would survive the week. Her GI specialist ( who is still her specialist today) did not think she would survive the year. And if she did, her neurologist thought she would be a vegetable. God has faithfully brought Lessa up to be a beautiful young lady who is as sweet as honey, tough as nails, has a heart of gold and a smile that will light up a room. She doesn't walk or talk or eat by mouth, but she can drive an electric wheelchair, use a communication device and a computer, and ...she is still alive.


In the last four years, each complication brought us farther away from the stability we knew...and perhaps may never go back to. But I know God answered our prayers in the past, and He will answer our prayers now. He is answering our prayers even daily. And He will, in His infinite wisdom and sovereignty, continue to answer our prayers for Lessa.


I'm not quite sure what the final outcome will look like. But God just wants me to worry about today...and not even that. I think He just wants me to bask in the blessings He answers with today! Praise God when she upchucks, and she tolerates the pedialyte and we don't have to use intravenous intervention. Praise God when we can go down another 3 ounces in her nightly intravenous infusion, and her heart rate stays normal and is not indicating dehydration. Praise God for head colds that is the cause for the fever and it is not sepsis. Praise God for the many steps of her daily medical care ...because she IS alive after surviving septic shock .


But If I stay in the dark wondering about the future, I'll miss these answers today. If I stay in His light (trust He will answer and actively look for His daily answers ) I'll be able to see the blessings as they unfold to me. And His faithfulness will grow my faith.

"The Feather"

This morning as we started our "Flow" meeting, there was a stirring of emotions inside of me. I was surprised because what surfaced was feelings of hurt, anger, loneliness and not really being understood by others. "What's going on God?" "Why was this coming up now?" The music that I started the meeting with this morning was the theme song from Forrest Gump. As the music played I saw that feather that was floating from place to place at the beginning of the movie and it represented me. As that feather flew, the Lord took me back to my childhood; as a little boy some of the feelings that I experienced as a child was the same feelings that I was feeling this morning. God took me through a few scenes of my past and it was hard to look at, but as I saw the feather land there I was at home with Him in my Father's House with God the Father. I sensed His warmth, protection and comfort. It was just me and the Lord sharing and spending time together. He saw my hurt, tears, struggles and fears and with a whisper of His voice it all melted away. It was fantastic!!!

There's a sense of peace right now as I'm writing this. I know that I'm not completely healed from the brokenness and hurt I experienced through this journey called life. But I am certain that God will pick up my broken pieces and place them back one by one until I'm truly home with Him. You and I don't need to deal with our struggles alone; the Lord knows everything about us and He's with us 24/7. He knows exactly what we're going through, each of our struggles, hurts, fears, loneliness, etc. Spend a few minutes and allow the Lord to touch you through the power of His Holy Spirit. Become as light as a feather and may we all float and flow with His Spirit wherever He takes us.

Blessings,
Ray

What I love most about this site

You know what I have enjoyed most about this site? I got to get to know the leaders of this church much more intimately than ever before... they have been transparent and open... modeling for us what that looks like... It prompted me to want to start a blog site of my own to allow Barry and Mike do the same thing... this medium is a wonderful way to share our thoughts and experiences both good and bad... it gives us an opportunity to take off the masks and reveal just what is going on inside of us...
I especially want to thank Rick for sharing honestly about his chronic sickness and emotional pain unedited and unashamed to share it with us...
I love Jane's, Evasia's, Ray's, and Donna's journey with Jesus and where He is taking each one... all different but similar because they are getting to know Him better... there is an intimacy I feel... a kindred spirit within me that smiles, knowing that each one is growing closer to Jesus...
I want to thank Donna for starting this blog site and allowing me to be a part of a great bunch of friends and family at CBC... many of you know goofy Bob... some of you know sad Bob... a few of you know porno Bob... and only one or two of you know the whole Bob... warts, farts, smiles, laughs, cries, yells, pessimistic, optimistic, and everything in between...
In any case, my hope is to be as transparent as the rest of the leaders here because it's all about Jesus... if not for Him and His unconditional love for me...
Oh my... a tear...
I will continue to make comments and share my thoughts when time permits... some like quilting... some like dancing... I like Saturday morning prayer... eating a good steak... and blogging!
Smell the coffee!

new cafe fuego blog

We have inspired Bob to start a blog for the Cafe Fuego Saturday morning prayer group. Bob has listed a bunch of videos that you can watch to see what God is doing in other churches. And people who come to Cafe Fuego will be sharing their experiences of how God speaks to them, touches them, moves them, and loves them.

Check it out at www.cafefuego.blogspot.com (there's also a link on the sidebar)

back in the pit

Here I am again, back in the pit. I don’t like it here. But nonetheless here I am, struggling with feelings of worry, anxiety and a sense of hopelessness. I don’t like to feel this way. But I this is where I am and this is what I am feeling.

Last week, I received notification from my insurance company that my request to see a spine specialist was declined. I intend to appeal, but presently lack the fortitude to proceed in that direction.

Instead, the insurance company wants me to undergo pain management therapy (whatever that is). My first pain management session is this Thursday, this of course means additional out of pocket expense.

How do I get out of the pit? I know from past experience that I cannot get out on my own, I need help. I need to admit that I cannot do anything to help my situation other than ask for and receive help.

I am struggling with feelings of despondency, hopelessness and sadness. I have cried out to the Lord for help, I am waiting for Him to deliver me. I hope He, His angels and possibly others intervene soon.

I can’t help but wonder if I will ever get and feel better. I wonder if life will ever be worth living. Or am I to plod along through life falling into one pit after another.

I wonder if I will ever get out of debt, let alone be able to retire someday in the very distant future. I wonder if I will ever be able to walk or stand without pain. I wonder if I will ever know rest and peace again. I wonder if I will have the capacity to work full time again.

My relentless pain and diminished physical capacity is pushing me into deeper levels of depression. I have increased feelings of fatigue, exhaustion and weakness. Perhaps I need to seek professional help for my depression.

Things do not seem to be getting better; I seem to be getting worse. My pain is increasing. My depression is getting deeper. I hate to think of what else might happen.

Please pray for me. Ask God to pour into and over me increasingly more of His love, grace, mercy, and compassion. Pray that He would lift me up and out of the pit. Please pray that my body, soul, mind, spirit and finances will once again be blessed and restored.

Humbly, Rick

In the midst of the storm

When I often think of Jesus I get pictures of sitting with Him in a garden or a stream. Everything seems so plush and beautiful. The world seems so peaceful and I don't want to leave this place. But in reality, life is not really like that very often. It seems the more I find myself trying to be in the center of God's will the harder it gets. I often think, "it shouldn't be this hard." Why does it feel like there is opposition on every side? I wonder, "if this was Jesus would it be this hard for Him?" And somehow I think it wouldn't be so hard.

But in all reality the more Jesus entered into the very crux of His ministry the harder it got. I'm in a group right now and we are going through the book of Mark. I read chapter three today. In just that chapter the religious leaders are trying to trap Him into breaking the Sabbath by healing a man's hand, demons are yelling out His name, He is accused of being out of His mind by His own family, and the religious leaders say He is demon possessed. He just can't seem to be understood. He is trying to do all the things His Father has asked of Him and yet in the eyes of others He falls short. But it was because they didn't see Jesus for who He truly is. They saw Him through hardened hearts and blurred vision.

But Jesus did not lose focus. In the midst of opposition He forged ahead and touched those who reached out to Him. It seemed it was always the path of resistance that carved out His purpose more clearly. And it's often in those stormy times that I find God. Where I step out of the boat in the storm and go to Him because I know without Him I will surely drown. And it's not the storm that makes me stronger but the step I take toward Him that gives me the strength.

Take a moment and pray . . .

A prayer request from Rick: Pray for the Lord to intervene on my behalf, my insurance company has denied my request to see a neurosurgeon. I am trying my best not to slip into another period of depression.

A prayer request from Jane and Bob: Please pray for Rose-Marie Lampino, mother to Kristina-Marie and Mary-Rose Lampino (they used to dance in our worship ministry). She was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and in surgery this week they found that the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. Pray for healing for Rose-Marie, and pray for the family. Pray He brings people to them who can help them process all the medical information so they may help make sound decisions for their mother.

Peace

This morning as we had our "Flow" meeting, I sat in the sanctuary and invited the Lord to come. Let me share with you what the Lord gave me today as I wrote down what took place:

Here I sit in the sanctuary - God's house. All the while hearing the cars whizzing by outside. The rush of busyness outside versus the calm of God's house inside. How different it is - or was it? It took me awhile to calm my heart. There was so much frustration and anger in my heart. Where was this coming from? What's going on? I needed to cling to Jesus. Calm the storms in my heart. Renew my spirit to be aligned with Yours I prayed. As the background music played, I felt His gentle touch and heard His voice - "Be still and know that I am God". Instantly all my anxious thoughts, frustrations and anger was gone. The One who died for me was with me.

Then the passage from Psalm 23 came to mind -
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Thanks Lord for hearing the cries of my heart. If there are difficult times that you are dealing with, sit with the God of all comfort and allow Him to pour out His peace, hope, restoration and love.

Have a great week and God bless!

Ray

atlanta

Just got home from a week in Atlanta visiting Tracey & Will. Tracey was supposed to have a case go to court any day, and was worried that she wouldn't be able to take days off to spend with us. I asked my small group to pray on Tuesday, and when I arrived in Atlanta on Wednesday, I told Tracey we were praying she wouldn't have to go to court. She looked at me funny, and said her case mysteriously was not on the calendar anymore. The next day she found out it had been moved to November. Wow.

We had a great time, mostly I'm just in awe of God's provision in the lives of my children. At Tracey's wedding last year, my friend Koko reminded me that when the kids were toddlers, we used to pray for their future spouses. And as I watch Tracey & Will, and Brandon & Alyssa, I know that God heard those prayers. I am so thankful for God's provision of Will and Alyssa, and the loving, caring relationships I see. God is faithful and good.

dancing with the stars

I am one of those people who enjoy watching Dancing with the Stars. Each season, I watch and choose a celebrity to cheer on. This season my favorite is Warren Sapp. He is an ex football player, a giant of a man. From outward appearances, Warren does not look like a dancer. Each week he comes out and gives it his all. He amazes me with his ability to move with grace and agility all the while having fun.

I believe the premise of Dancing with the Stars is to take people out of the natural element and teach them new things, in this case dancing. I think it surprises each person on the show just how much they learn about themselves in the process of learning to dance and perform.

I also enjoy watching people operating within their area passion. It’s great to see people experience the joy of serving the Lord and having fun in the process. I believe this one of our desires at CBC, to see people find their passion and then serve in that area.

Bob and Nancy Aisawa are teaching their small group how to move and pray in the Spirit. They are taking information they recently learned and are imparting this knowledge those around them. A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to be a guinea pig and receive prayer ministry from their small group. It was a time to apply what they were learning; it was new, exciting and fun.

Bob has invited people to come and experience more of the Lord on Saturday mornings in the sanctuary from 8:00 to 9:30 am, Café Fuego. Great things are happening, come and experience it yourself. He has also converted Barry’s old office into a prayer room. So if you need prayer, find Bob after each service on Sunday mornings.

I am looking forward to seeing you find your area of passion and then serving in that capacity.

Blessings, Rick

God Rocks Part 3

I was sure I had the job description right when I told God "Use Me" (see postings God Rocks Part 1 & 2, Oct 6 & 13). God and I had wrangled back and forth for an hour during The Battle Prayer meeting. His heart melded with mine, and he expanded my compassion for the children abused and exploited in the world. I was ready to help save those babies.

I googled human trafficking, rescue and rehabilitation, crisis management, prostitution and exploitation, sex slavery , social justice. I researched volunteer positions for rescue teams, rehabilitation teams, intern programs for justice organizations.

I kept running into roadblock after roadblock. I either had to relocate to SE Asia (where most of the crimes occur) or Washington DC (where most of the justice organizations are located) or had to go back to school for a degree in medicine, social welfare, law enforcement, legal justice system, or the mental health field to be a part of a rescue and rehabilitation team, even for the domestic sex trafficking and slavery victims (in California!).


I was so discouraged. I couldn't figure out why God would give me this urgent need to help these abused children, yet close the doors.

Then I found it. A CASA. A what!? A Court Appointed Special Advocate. The clincher on the website was "CASA volunteers are ordinary people with extraordinary hearts and the desire to make a difference...one child at a time."

CASA volunteers advocate to the courts for the needs of the most vulnerable children in our society, those removed from their homes to protect them from the neglect and/or abuse (physical, emotional, and sexual) inflicted upon them from their parents or caretakers . Placed in foster care (foster families or group homes or shelters) as dependencies of the courts , CASA kids are those whose parents often relinquish parental rights, don't have other extended family, and are difficult to adopt. They can go through their whole childhood going from one foster placement to another, one school to another, having multiple social workers, lawyers, therapists, teachers. CASA's often serve as the one consistent adult in their lives and the one adult they learn to trust. CASA's may be the one adult who believes in them, loves them, gives them hope and can point them toward a future.

I think I see why God rocked me six months ago. Melding my heart with His was preparing me to be like Him , and to be like Him for a specific child.

At the time of this posting, I've completed 30 hours of training, interviewed with the CASA staff, and have been sworn to an oath of confidentiality by a Dependency Court Judge. I'll be assigned to a CASA supervisor and meet my CASA child in the near future. I'll keep you posted!

Soarin'

This morning as I was spending time with God, He spiritually took me up and I felt like I was flying like a bird. I was weightless (first time - surprise! surprise!) and the Lord showed me all of these people who were struggling through life. Those in Swaziland, the homeless, the kids in the sex traffic trade, those without food or shelter, the hurting, the downcast. As I was flying above, my heart sank as I witnessed and saw the horror of these atrocities. But as the Lord was taking me through this experience, I sensed a calm and peace. That our heavenly Father will take care of the evil and every wrong doing that is going on in this world. I felt a sense of freedom and assurance that He will prevail.

With the breeze all around me and experiencing this freedom as I floated along in the air with the Lord, this verse from Isaiah 40:29-31 came to mind:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The Lord is good and there's nothing He can't do. I pray that each of you reading this would be encouraged. May it be etched in your hearts that with God you can and will be able to soar on wings like eagles!

Blessings,
Ray

Christmas in October

I am one of those people who likes to listen to Christmas music earlier than December. Usually I begin listening in September, this year I got a late start I began yesterday. I even found a new source, internet radio. I found several new stations with holiday music. So, I guess I must not be the only one.

I remember sharing this about myself in one of my small groups and someone came up to me after our meeting and confessed that she begins listening to Christmas music in July. That helped me to feel not so eccentric. Not that I mind being different, I can’t help being who God created me to be, unique.

A couple of days ago, I began to read a book I purchased a while ago. I know that I had started to read the book right after I got it (months ago), but for some reason I put it down and never picked it back up. As I began rereading the first few chapters, I realized that I must not have been ready to accept the material at that time, I seem more ready now.

This book is about blessing your spirit. I think that it resonants well with me now because I am thinking about all the things I need to do prior to my surgery. It is written as a 40 day series of daily blessings. (I estimate that I have just over 40 days until my surgery.)

As a preparation for surgery, I am being counseled to build up my immune system, my physical body. (It's interesting because as I write this, I am fighting off flu-like symptoms.) I know that I have been preparing myself emotionally for weeks. It never dawned on me to work on shoring up my spirit; and even if I did, I wouldn’t know how. So I consider this book a God thing. He knew months ago (probably more) that I would need this resource as well as others.

My process has been one of mostly letting go, letting go of control. My financial income has been cut in half. So I have had to work on letting go of worrying about not having enough. While I don’t have enough to make monthly expenses, I know in my spirit that everything will be okay. I don’t know how, but I know that eventually everything will be alright.

I have also been working on letting go of self sufficiency. In my depleted state, I have had to rely upon more and more people. I have had to let people in and let them help me.

I know that soon I will need even more people to help me with everyday things. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray for my physical healing. Pray for financial blessing. Pray that God will provide for all of my needs, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Gratefully,
Rick

God Rocks Part 2

Last week in "God Rocks - in More Ways than One" (Oct 6th), I posted about my heart transforming encounter with the Holy Spirit while praying for the victims of human trafficking. What started out as intercessory prayer for them turned into a wrestling match in my soul with His Spirit. That's because my prayer conversation , which started out as a compassionate , uni-directional intercession , became a torrential two-way dialogue/ contest with God.


While praying for the thousands and thousands of children exploited in Asia and in the US, I poured out my pleas to God to deliver them, protect them, empower the rescuers, strengthen the healers, provide funds for all of them, laying out every plan of action I could think of out of my small amount of knowledge. I was reminding God of their weakness against the powers of evil in the perpetrators and the pimps. I was reminding God how powerful He was and to please use His power to save and heal these children.


Intercessory prayer can be funny like that.....it's supposed to be a time that we can be advocates for others before our Lord out of the compassion in our hearts. It's supposed to be a time where we can come to know the heart of God, who already has a plan to address the need, and just wants us to have a chance to come on board. But it can just as easily turn out to be our cookbook to God on how to handle situations He already knows about.


Well, God wanted me to learn how to cook and come on board one of His plans to address this situation (and I believe God has lots of plans in the works for a given situation). As I pleaded for these babies, as I cried my heart out, as I poured out every ounce of my soul, He started to rock me, shake me, gave a kind of spiritual slap in the head because He wanted my attention. He wanted to me to do some serious listening. He wanted me to do more than pray.


He challenged me, tested me, broke my heart with the helplessness of these children. He asked me just how much did I want these children saved. He asked me to what lengths would I go to help the victims in this world. I wasn't ready for that question. "Me, God? Are You sure? I know this crime breaks my heart and I know You can do something about it, but me? I wouldn't even know where to start?! God, you gotta do something, and with people right for the job. " So He kept talking. During this fervent and passionate conversation/dialogue/argument (however way you want to look at it), God not only heard my pleas, but he reflected them back to me filtered through his eyes, and He infused His heart into mine. I discovered that prayer was not simply a conversation , though fervent, with God, but an avenue to mind-meld , and even heart-meld with God. It was more than "experiencing" God. That is, it was more than sensing His presence, more than feeling His love, or even receiving His healing, comforting, reassuring touch. Because at that moment, it wasn't about what I was going to receive from Him, but rather what I could do for Him! It was not how He could respond to my prayers on behalf of the children, but rather what He was going to do through me for His children.

He was fusing His heart into mine so that my heart could see through His eyes and love through His heart. My heart was already full of compassion for these little ones, but He filled it even greater with His compassion, and I grieved as He grieves, felt anger as He felt anger , and wanted, no, needed to pour out love in some tangible way for these little ones as He pours out His love for them. He was rocking me to the core, then replacing it with His own.

As I mentioned in my last posting, by the end of that hour, I was spent. My eyes were red from crying, my heart was aching (for the children and probably from beating so fast during my protests to God) But after an hour of trying to do a Jonah, I stopped telling Him what He needed to do or who He was to empower, and tried His heart on for size and said "Use Me".


I know, I know, I also told you at the last posting that I would tell you this time what that exactly meant for me. But I've rambled enough. I'll tell you next time which plan (of His many plans) He chose for me to answer this need. I promise. God Rocks!


jane

my song of the year

I usually have a CD in my car that plays over and over whenever I don't like anything on the radio. Sometimes when I'm not even paying attention, a line of a song reaches out and grabs me and unexpectedly elicits tears. I don't cry easily, and I've learned that tears are a signal that something is touching me at a level below my conscious awareness. So then, I listen to the whole song and find it speaks to some deep longing that God begins to nurture and grow. It's not just that I like the song, it's as though the song chooses me.

Last year the line was "take my world apart, I'm broken, on my knees" from "Worlds Apart", that I listened to for months as God dealt with my pride and my transitions and letting go and really loving Jesus. You can listen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCezEbaMHdA&feature=related

This year it's the line "I wanna be where you are" from "Came to My Rescue". I listen to that song over and over and I hunger for more, to be close to God, in step with him instead of doing my own thing. It's at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWPABE3gycs&feature=related (If it sounds familiar, we sang it with Lyndsey's worship team once).

That's my prayer right now, the longing of my heart: Lord, I want to be where you are. Close, not up ahead or lagging behind, but where you are, in your presence, doing your thing, in your will.

Listening

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who does all the talking? You are waiting for the moment when you can voice a comment but they never seem to take a breath. And even when you finally say something they don't say much or just keep on talking. You may wonder if your presence even really matters or if you really matter to them. Do you ever wonder if God feels that way with us? We sit down with Him and present all our concerns to Him and then walk away. Or maybe we just call out to Him when we need help in a last ditch act of desperation.

But what would happen if we just took some time and sat and listened to what God is saying to us. If we were silent and heard the heart of God. How would that impact our relationship with God? Would we find ourselves in a deeper and more intimate relationship with Him? Would we see life differently because we hear His voice more clearly? Would our time with Him become more like a two way conversation? Would we wait in expectation for times to spend with Him because it would be like time with our best friend?

In the last months I have been learning under Bob and Nancy Aisawa the art of listening prayer. As we have traveled to different small groups this has been a whole new approach of building intimacy with our Father. We learned how to ask God "How do you see me?" and "How do you see others?" And we waited on God to hear His voice. The pictures, words, verses, and stories that we have experience are incredible!!! My life has been changed. If you haven't had a chance to experience this study, talk to Bob and Nancy about having them come to your small group. You may never pray the same way again.

Evasia

prayer works (if I'm not the one praying)

Ray Y. leads a prayer time at our church on Wed. morning from 9 to 10 am. My wife, Valerie, decided to attend in order to receive prayer for her aching right shoulder. She invited me to pray along with Ray. We both laid hands on her shoulder and prayed as we felt led. Afterwards, I asked Val if anything happened. She moved her arm and said, "I don't think so." We decided to pray again. Again no results. I went back to my office and Ray and Steve continued to minister to Val. To make a long story short, she felt a lot better. The moral of the story is ask Ray to pray for you and not me (not). The lesson is that we are to persevere in prayer. Keep on praying and don't give up.

Gary

"FLOW"

This beautiful Wednesday morning as I came to church, I felt a little anxious and wasn't really sure what was going on inside of me. This was the second week of "FLOW" and as I started to pray the Lord gave me a picture of a clear stream flowing over hundreds of rocks below. He said that the rocks represented the hard things of our lives and that the cool stream of water moving above represented His Holy Spirit flowing over us. In my minds eye as I was looking at this picture my first thought was "it sure would be great if Evasia could write a poem about what I see in this picture about "FLOW". The next thing I heard was the Lord speaking to me saying write. And my response to Him was "what me"??? But as the music in the background was playing these words came:

"FLOW"

Just like the waters of a stream flows
So does Your Spirit flow over us
The constant stream is the same
As Your love for us flows

The bottom of the stream is rocky
Like the way life is for us at times
But Your stream flows through every crevasse
And knows every sharp edge

The way of the Lord blows gently
Like the wind over the streams of life
Over the rocky and secret places
Holy Spirit flow into our lives

Lord may we be centered in You
With Your Spirit flowing all around us
Come Sweet Holy Spirit
FLOW. . .

As the days move forward may the Lord hear the cries of your heart. Because He knows where you ard I are in this journey called life and He'll bring His comfort, peace, joy, grace, mercy and love. We just need to seek after Him and He will bring the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit.

I would like to invite you to come on any Wednesday morning to joy us in the sanctuary at 9:00 to 10:00 a.m. to meet with our Heavenly Father.

Peace and blessings to you,
Ray

for blog newbies

Someone asked about where the rest of the blog is, and how to read all the blog entries. Over on the right side of the page there are 2 sections, one called Previous, and the other called Archives.

You can click on the titles of Previous entries to read the more recent ones. Or you can click on a month in the Archives section to read all the entries from that month.

Happy blogging!

things are looking up

A couple of praise reports, last Wednesday, I met with my new primary care physician. He is really nice and understanding of my situation. He forwarded my request to see a neurosurgeon to the insurance company. Please pray that they will approve this request expeditiously.

Last Friday, I received the lab results from my recent colonoscopy. During the procedure they removed a polyp and found it to be benign. I was informed that had this polyp not been removed, in a few years it would have turned cancerous. They said that I’m good to go for another five years.

Some not so good news, after a brief examination my new physician said that I have scoliosis. Scoliosis is an abnormal curvature or twisting of the spine. For some reason, this has never been diagnosed. He said that normally this is detected and treated when young.

He suspects that my tendency to lean to the left may be due to years and years of this not being treated. So, my surgery to correct a bulging disk at L4 (lower back) may only be the beginning of my healing process.

As I move forward towards surgery, I recognize the need to get my financial affairs and final wishes/requests in order (no small task). I want to meet with a lawyer to prepare for the worst, establish power of attorney, advance directive and so forth. So if any of you have recommendations for a good trust attorney please let me know.

If things go according to my preliminary schedule, I could have surgery around Thanksgiving. I realize that this will mean that I will miss my favorite time of year, the holiday season but I want to begin my recovery process as soon as possible.

Due to my condition, I haven’t been able to go to Disneyland since last December; this is a long time for me. I am beginning to look ahead to the next time that I can go to Disneyland. I think that next summer is a very optimistic goal. At the latest, I hope to be able to go again by holiday season 2009.

These things may sound trivial, but I feel like I need to have some goals to look forward to. Please keep me in your prayers. Continue to pray for my physical healing and for my financial situation. Pray that God will bless, cover, protect, provide and extend His favor over me during this season of my life.

Gratefully,
Rick

God Rocks...in more ways than one!

Careful what you pray for...because God does answer! Last spring I was a part of the artistic team for a wonderful awareness event at our church. Collegiate Christine Kim and her high school girls small group put on a powerful awareness and fundraising event to help an organization called Love 146. This organization is committed to bring awareness to, and rescue and rehabilitate victims of the second highest billion dollar organized crime industry, human sex trafficking. The statistics will stagger you, revolt you, and incense you because children are being exploited for profit both in Asia AND the United States. They are being raped, beaten, and thrown away by "normal, everyday, civilized" people who go there to satisfy their sexual predatory natures.

Shortly after that event, our Prayer Director, Ray, organized a prayer night called The Battle. We put our our prayer warriors helmet that night and prayed for our church, prayed for our missionaries, prayed for the injustices in the world. I spent the bulk of my time in that last prayer station because I really wanted to tell God how I felt. I needed to vent and to plead to Him. I needed comfort, peace, assurance that He would do something for these babies. But the conversation went the other way. God rocked me. He asked me just how much they mattered to me. He asked me if I would extend His love to them in some way. I cried, I shook, my mind and heart were racing. I argued. I doubted. I was overwhelmed by His Spirit. By the end of that hour of prayer, I was spent. And I knew I only had one answer. So I said, "Use me". Little did I know what that really meant. ...But I"ll save that for next time.

hey!! we're cool and trendy

Or at least those of us who are wearing our wristbands are. Take a look at the Time magazine article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1846716,00.html

Maybe that makes you feel like wearing it more . . . or maybe you're one of those cynical people who will now NOT want to wear it at all. But it's not just cool and trendy . . . it's a reminder to pray because we need God. Pray 4 CBC!

evil enters my garden

So here's my garden, planted, mulched, watered, growing. It's my little piece of Eden, perfection, God's presence. But . . . . . . . . . oh no! . . . . . . . evil has invaded! Dun-dun-dunnnnn (ominous music). I noticed black fuzzy spots of fungus on the rose bush and pesky whitefly eggs on some leaves. And some pansies are wilting: am I overwatering or underwatering? Drat . . . This means I can't just sit back and lazily enjoy the garden.

I have to work at maintaining it! What a disappointment! I just wanted to relax and gaze at the flowers. Now I have to do more work to get rid of them or control them. I have to be wary, swat down those whiteflies, remove the diseased leaves, spray, and check, and be more careful when I water. #!%$@! (angry thoughts)! the garden is not going to take care of itself.

Are all kinds of analogies going thru your mind like they are in mine? It makes me think of sin entering the perfect life of Adam and Eve. Or the kingdom of darkness invading the kingdom of God. Or the new Christian finding out that you still sin and spiritual growth is not automatic. Or the church realizing that wrong attitudes have gotten in among the godly desires.

I want a church that takes care of itself. Where I can just come and relax and enjoy the worship and the fellowship. Actually, I want a life like that, where I can just do my thing and be happy. I don't want to deal with problems, and to struggle and stress.

But as I sat with Jesus this morning in my garden, He gave me a picture of us walking together, arm in arm. Jesus pointed out where my attention was needed and told me what to do and I bent down and did it and then resumed our walk. It wasn't stressful at all, very peaceful walking with him. He took charge, I just walked with him and followed his directions.

Could that really happen in my life? I don't know. I've been praying that God would grow me as a leader. Maybe I need to pray that I become a better follower . . . following Him.

prayer request: Baja Oct 4 & 5

Pray for the Baja team going to build a house tomorrow and Sunday. Pray for safety and against injury. I was asked to pray for NO RAIN, which there is a 20% chance of tomorrow. Pray for the other 80%! For more info about the ministry and to see photos of past trips, check out the Baja website at http://www.dauplaise.net/cbcbaja/

Snow Angels

I grew up in Montana, the Big Sky country. And if you have ever been there you would see why they call it that. At night the stars just jump out at you and come alive with wonder. Everything becomes quiet and for a moment, life is at it's best. I remember winter camp and going up to the mountains and lying in the snow and making snow angels and looking up at the stars. God seemed so alive and magnificent in all the beauty and the silence somehow drew me closer to Him.

But now that I have moved to a warmer climate with a lot more people and less places where you find quiet I have to practice hearing God. I have to practice listening to God despite the distractions. And it's been exactly that, practice. Sometimes I questions the words or pictures God may give to me and I lose a sense of all that God is saying deep within my soul.

So each Saturday I schedule a time from 8:00 - 9:30 am to spend time learning to hear God's voice. Here I experience God in a whole new way and I learn with other believers. It is now a non-negotiable in my life. I look forward to it each week and somehow God has become alive again in my soul. And maybe, just maybe, God looks down and sees me making a snow angel. Come out and experience God with us at Cafe Fuego.

Spiritual Pathways

Everyone has different spiritual pathways that they connect best with God. Ortberg Outtakes describes them this way:
1.Intellectual Pathway - "... draw closer to God as they learn more about Him."
2. Relational Pathway - "... have a deep sense of God's presence when they're involved in significant relationships." 3. Serving Pathway - "... God's presence seems most tangible when they're involved in helping others." 4. Worship Pathway - "... have a natural gift for expression and celebration." 5. Activist Pathway - "You have a passion to act." 6. Contemplative Pathway - "God is most present to you when distractions and noises are removed." 7. Creation Pathway - "... have a passionate ability to connect with God when they are experiencing the world He made."

My main spiritual pathway, the way I feel closest to God is when I am surrounded by His natural creation and beauty. One of the places I visit often because it is close to my house is South Coast Botanic Garden. Some people have a year-long pass to Disneyland. I have one for this place!

This past year they put in a fuchsia garden. God just didn't make one kind of fuchsia. He made lots in every shade of red, pink, magenta and purple! He made larger blooms that are full yet delicate. And then He made smaller ones, almost miniature. But you know they're fuchsias because they all have the same basic composition. God must love variety. Just look at us! Not one of us is like another!

Every time I visit here I walk through the fuchsia garden. Even though I've seen them before, I still marvel and delight in seeing them again and again. I never get tired of looking at them. Something is moved in my spirit whenever I see God's creativity in nature. A love wells up within my heart for such a great God.

I leave the fuchsia garden and proceed to other equally beautiful places on the grounds. Doing this has been the way I have prepared myself for quiet time with God. I can even feel my blood pressure drop! By the time I get to my favorite bench, I am ready to receive from His Word and from Him.

Afterwards, on my way back toward the entrance I still linger, keeping my eyes open for something I might have missed on the way in. And as I drive out of the parking lot, my heart is full and I am ready to face the challenges of the coming days.